Thursday, June 30, 2011


23 June 2011

 Death is inevitable



Secretary-General’s Message for 2011

This first International Widows’ Day is an occasion to call attention to the many “firsts” that women must face when their husbands die.  In addition to coping with grief, they may find themselves for the first time since marriage without any social safety net.  Far too often, widows lack access to inheritance, land tenure, employment and even the means to survive.

In places where a widow’s status is linked to her husband, she may find herself suddenly shunned and isolated.  Marriage – whether she desires it or not – may be the only way for a widow to regain her footing in society.

Of the approximately 245 million widows in our world, more than 115 million live in extreme poverty.  In countries embroiled in conflicts, women are often widowed young and must bear the heavy burden of caring for their children amid fighting and displacement with no help or support.

Some of these widows are teenagers – or even younger.  The death of their husbands can leave a terrible legacy these widows must endure throughout their remaining years.

All widows should be protected by the rights enshrined in the Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination against Women and other international human rights treaties.

But in reality, interpretations of customary codes, as well as traditional mourning and burial rites, often deny widows virtually all of their universally recognized rights.

Despite the many difficulties widows face, many make valuable contributions to their countries and communities.  Some take on leadership roles at the highest levels.  Others work in their families, taking in orphans, serving as caregivers and reaching across lines of conflict to mend tears in the social fabric.

We must recognize the important contribution of widows, and we must ensure that they enjoy the rights and social protections they deserve.

Death is inevitable, but we can reduce the suffering that widows endure by raising their status and helping them in their hour of need.  This will contribute to promoting the full and equal participation of all women in society.  And that will bring us closer to ending poverty and promoting peace around the world.
Ban Ki-moon

Absent in statistics, unnoticed by researchers, neglected by national and local authorities and mostly overlooked by civil society organizations – the situation of widows is, in effect, invisible.

Yet abuse of widows and their children constitutes one of the most serious violations of human rights and obstacles to development today. Millions of the world’s widows endure extreme poverty, ostracism, violence, homelessness, ill health and discrimination in law and custom.

To give special recognition to the situation of widows of all ages and across regions and cultures, the United Nations General Assembly declared 23 June 2011 as the first-ever International Widows’ Day.

Once widowed, women in many countries often confront a denial of inheritance and land rights, degrading and life-threatening mourning and burial rites and other forms of widow abuse.

Widows are often evicted from their homes and physically abused – some even killed – even by members of their own family. In many countries, a woman’s social status is inextricably linked to her husband’s, so that when her husband dies, a woman no longer has a place in society. To regain social status, widows are expected to marry one of their husband’s male relatives, sometimes unwillingly. For many, the loss of a husband is only the first trauma in a long-term ordeal.

In many countries, widowhood is stigmatized and seen as a source of shame. Widows are thought to be cursed in some cultures and are even associated with witchcraft.

Such misconceptions can lead to widows being ostracized, abused and worse. Research by HelpAge International, for instance, has found that in Tanzania hundreds of older women – mostly widows – have been killed because of accusations of being witches. 

The children of widows are often affected, both emotionally and economically. Widowed mothers, now supporting their families alone, are forced to withdraw children from school and to rely on their labour. Moreover, the daughters of widows may suffer multiple deprivations, increasing their vulnerability to abuse.

Such cruelties are often seen as justified in terms of cultural or religious practice. Impunity for abuses of the rights of widows is rife, with few perpetrators ever successfully brought to justice. Even in countries where legal protection is more inclusive, widows can suffer social marginalization.

Across a wide spectrum of countries, religions and ethnic groups, a woman is left destitute when her husband dies. Poverty is often made worse by little or no access to credit or other economic resources, and by illiteracy or lack of education. Without education and training, widows cannot support themselves or their families.

Many widows in traditional societies have no rights, or very limited rights, to inheritance or land ownership under customary and religious law. Without inheritance rights, including a lack of rights to the property of their birth family, widows find themselves financially insecure and totally dependent on the charity of their husbands’ relatives.

In India, where widowhood constitutes a low status social institution as well as a personal condition, thousands of widows are disowned by relatives and made homeless, forcing many women to seek informal work as domestic labourers or turn to begging or prostitution.

Widows in developed countries may also face particular difficulties, ranging from loss of insurance coverage to difficulties in accessing credit to becoming solely responsible for childcare. In some cases, widows can become liable for the debts of a deceased spouse.

Violence against women is one of the most widespread violations of human rights, affecting women of all backgrounds, ages, cultures and countries. Widows are no exception and may in fact be at particularly high risk of violence.

In many countries, but particularly across Africa and Asia, widows find themselves the victims of physical and mental violence – including sexual abuse – related to inheritance, land and property disputes. With no rights to ownership of her husband’s property, a widow may be subject to abuse and cast out of her home altogether. In Africa, widow abuse cuts across ethnic, class and income boundaries, rendering widows among the most vulnerable and destitute women in the region.

Widows are coerced into participating in harmful, degrading and even life-threatening traditional practices as part of burial and mourning rites. In a number of countries, for example, widows are forced to drink the water that their husbands’ corpses have been washed in. Mourning rites may also involve sexual relations with male relatives, shaving of the hair and scarification.

Poor nutrition, inadequate shelter and vulnerability to violence, combined with a lack of access to health care, can impact the physical and mental well-being of widows. The sexual and reproductive health needs of widows may go unaddressed, including the fact that widows are often the victims of rape.

Widows are particularly vulnerable in the context of HIV and AIDS. Women may be kept unaware of the cause of their husband’s AIDS-related death and made to undergo ritual cleansing through sex with male relatives regardless of HIV status. The economic insecurity stemming from widowhood also drives some women and girls to sex work.

Vast numbers of women are widowed due to armed conflict. In some parts of eastern Democratic Republic of the Congo, for instance, it is reported that around 50 per cent of women are widows, while there are an estimated three million widows in Iraq and over 70,000 in Kabul, Afghanistan.

Widows struggle to care for themselves and their children in their own countries, refugee camps or countries of asylum. In several post-conflict situations, high numbers of children depend on widowed mothers – often young women, sometimes children themselves – as their sole support. Widowed grandmothers are also left caring for orphaned and sick grandchildren.

Prior to being widowed during conflict, many women see their husbands tortured, mutilated or suffering other cruel and inhuman treatment. Widows may themselves be subject to conflict-related violence – including sexual violence as a tactic of war – with violence against women during or after armed conflicts reported in every international or non-international war-zone. Having been raped and mutilated, many widows are infected with HIV during conflict.

Widows in countries coming out of conflict are vulnerable to ongoing abuse and often experience further violence and discrimination in the post-conflict period. Mistreatment of widows can have a negative impact on investments in peace and security, feeding the cycle of poverty, breeding unrest and insecurity, and ultimately challenging democracy and sustainable security.

Widow survivors of the genocide in Rwanda
Among the survivors of the 1994 Rwandan genocide were thousands of women – both Hutu and Tutsi – who were widowed in the course of the conflict. All traumatized, many had suffered rape, some were infected with HIV and many had witnessed the killing of family members. Since 1994, these women and organizations that support them have been fighting to change attitudes towards women in Rwanda, advocating for their better access to medical, financial and counseling services, as well as for changes to laws regarding the property, marital and inheritance rights of women.

Towards progress for widows
A dearth of reliable hard data remains one of the major obstacles to developing the policies and programmes to address the poverty, violence and discrimination suffered by widows. There is a need for more research and statistics disaggregated by marital status, sex and age, in order to help reveal the incidence of widow abuse and illustrate the situation of widows.

Furthermore, Governments should take action to uphold their commitments to ensure the rights of widows as enshrined in international law, including the Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination Against Women and the  Convention on the Rights of the Child. Even when national laws exist to protect the rights of widows, weaknesses in the judicial systems of many States compromise how widows’ rights are defended in practice and should be addressed. Lack of awareness and discrimination by judicial officials can cause widows to avoid turning to the justice system to seek reparations.

Programmes and policies for ending violence against widows and their children, poverty alleviation, education and other support to widows of all ages also need to be undertaken, including in the context of action plans to accelerate achievement of the Millennium Development Goals.

In post-conflict situations, widows should be brought in to participate fully in peace building and reconciliation processes to ensure that they contribute to sustainable peace and security.

Empowering widows through access to adequate health care, education, decent work, full participation in decision-making and public life, and lives free of violence and abuse, would give them a chance to build a secure life after bereavement. Importantly, creating opportunities for widows can also help to protect their children and avoid the cycle of inter-generational poverty and deprivation.

International Widows Day is an opportunity for action towards achieving full rights and recognition for widows – too long invisible, uncounted and ignored.

United Nations
the Department of Public Information Strategic Communications Division, June 2011

U N Publications (more here)
UN Chronicle, “Lives of Widows - A Hidden Issue”


This article is specially dedicated 
to the special people in my life;

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Aimi Eguchi joins other virtual, fictional Japanese pop idols, Hatsune Miku - Vocaloid/Holographic idols



Aimi Eguchi joins other virtual, 
fictional Japanese pop idols

June 25, 2011 -

It's no secret that Aimi Eguchi is beautiful and talented. 
But human?  Not exactly.

She made headlines in the blogosphere after she was introduced earlier this month as the newest addition to the popular Japanese singing group AKB48.

This week, however, her true identity was revealed when Glico, a Japanese candy company that had featured her in an ad, posted a video on its website showing how Eguchi had been created using the eyebrows, nose, lips and mouth of other girls.

Her face was moulded from the features of six AKB48 members; a seventh girl provided Eguchi's voice.

AKB48 even went so far as to create a profile for Eguchi on their website, which says she was born in 1995 and is from Saitama, near Tokyo.

There are currently 77 members in the "idol group," each featured on the AKB48 website with a saccharine smile. Nearly every day AKB48 performs in the group's theater in Tokyo, and they star in several TV programs, including "AKBINGO!" and "Naruhodo High School."

Eguchi was introduced by the group this month as AKB48 "trainee." In the video, although her facial features move as she sings, her eyes remain expressionless. In still pictures, however, the composite could have fooled anyone.

The group's producer and founder, Yasushi Akimoto, reportedly raved about Eguchi, saying she would be "the heroine of the new age."

Fans began speculating about her last week when the mysterious new pop star suddenly appeared on the cover of the Japanese magazine Weekly Playboy.

TokyoHive, a Japanese culture blog, reported that "everyone" was eager to check out the pictures "in order to find out all the secrets behind her beauty."

But some bloggers noted Eguchi resembled other members of the group. And fans' suspicions grew after Eguchi was also chosen to star in a Glico ad for a candy called Aisu no Mi, and TokyoHive also reported AKB48 singer Oshima Yuko posted a picture on her blog with black dots on her face, the same ones it turns out, that were used to create the Eguchi  image. "The shoot has finished," Yuko wrote on her blog. "It took a long time, but I was by myself so I was able to stay nonchalant. And in the end I turned out looking like this."

Typically, new AKB48 members don't get that kind of publicity. And that was exactly the point.

As people speculated about Eguchi's sudden rise to fame and her unusually good looks, Glico stayed in the press, and so did AKB48.

The Japanese have fallen in love with virtual pop stars in the past, such as Hatsune Miku, a girl with aqua pigtails created in 2007. Her holographic image will appear at the Anime Expo in Los Angeles, Calif., next week, where music software will enable her to "sing."(more below).

But when it comes to Aimi Eguchi, fans have yet to decide if the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.

Posted on 06/23/2011
By Elizabeth Flock – Washington Post

In the latest move of Japanese pop toward virtual or fictional stars, the newest addition to a Japanese girl group with millions of superfans turns out not to be real.

Aimi Eguchi starred in a candy commercial soon after joining the group AKB48, showing off perfectly coiffed hair, proportional features, and touting the candy in a sickly sweet voice.

AKB48’s fans were immediately suspicious. Every year, fans vote which of the group’s members are the most popular, and usually only the most popular girls star in the commercials. According to Eguchi’s bio, which detailed her age, hometown, and hobbies, she was just a lowly “research student.” Was it possible Eguchi didn’t even exist? 

Soon after the candy company Ezaki Glico aired the commercial, it admitted that Aimi Eguchi was just a computer-generated mash-up of the best characteristics of several other members of the band.

AKB48’s management company initially tried to defend Eguchi’s humanness, saying, “She’s real! She didn’t take the 12th generation auditions, so we had to quickly accept her (into generation 12.5)”

Eguchi is another example of J-pop’s trend toward virtual or fictional pop stars.

The wildly popular hologram pop star, Hatsune Miku, plays sold-out concerts across the country to screaming fans waving glowsticks. (More below)

The fictional all female band Ho-kago Tea Time — featured in the anime series “K-On!” — released an album in 2009, which debuted at No. 1 on the weekly charts.

Aimi Eguchi is the first virtual member of AKB48, which is a theater-based group that has its own theater in the Akihabara district in Tokyo. The letters AKB in the group’s name are derived from the district name. AKB48 is said to currently hold the Guinness World Record for being the pop group with the greatest number of members, which fluctuates but is usually around 48.
Hatsune Miku: Japanese HOLOGRAPH Plays Sold Out Concerts; Science Fiction Comes To Life (VIDEO)


The wildly popular hologram pop star, Hatsune Miku, plays sold-out concerts across the country to screaming fans waving glowsticks.

The Huffington Post   
Nicholas Graham Posted: 11/11/10 

In what is surely a terrible omen not only for musicians but also the continued existence of the world as we know it, holographs are now playing sold out concerts in, where else, Japan.

Holographic idol Hatsune Miku is the creation of the group Crypton Future Media, using software from Vocaloid, and the group has put the avatar on tour with a live band. The sight of thousands of screaming fans waving glow sticks while the the holograph "performs" on stage is straight out of a science fiction novel.

The avatar is huge and incredibly realistic.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Indonesian Woman beheaded by sword in the western province of Makkah, Saudi Arabia Guilty of murdering employer

Indonesian Woman beheaded by sword
in the western province of Makkah, Saudi Arabia
Guilty of murdering employer

Maid guilty of murdering employer with a meat cleaver
Posted by Emily Rauhala Friday, June 24, 2011

......A woman, beheaded by the sword thousands of miles from home. This, at last, proved too much for Indonesia. For years, this Southeast Asian nation has been sending its citizens to work in Saudi Arabia and, for years, migrant workers there complained of poor working conditions, abuse and violence. 

But the surprise execution of Ruyati binti Sapubi, a 54-year old maid accused of killing her female employer, seems to have shocked the country into action. Indonesian authorities, who say Ruyati was routinely abused, are outraged they were not informed of the sentence.  They announced on Thursday that Indonesia will stop sending maids to the kingdom — at least for now.

The outcry over Ruyati's life and death in Saudi Arabia has cast a rather bright light on what is all-too-often dismissed as a private matter: the use and abuse of foreign domestic workers. 

A vast body of research confirms what we all basically know — there are literally millions of people, mostly women, working in others people's houses. In Saudi Arabia alone, there are 1.5 million foreign domestic workers. Many enjoy decent conditions. Many do not.

Saudi Arabia is a dangerous place for far too many foreign domestic workers. In 2008, a Human Rights Watch report documented widespread abuse of Asian maids in Saudi households. The organization found that women were routinely subjected to wretched working conditions, as well as emotional, sexual and physical abuse. "She beat me until my whole body burned. She beat me almost every day," one Indonesian woman told them. "She would beat my head against the stove until it was swollen." Since most maids are housebound and far from home, it can be difficult, if not impossible, to get help. If they do seek aid, the system is stacked against them, activists say.  

Unfortunately, this is not just a Saudi Problem — it's a global one. In march, I wrote about a similar dispute between Indonesia and Malaysia. After several high-profile acts of violence against domestic workers, Indonesia was forced to stop women from seeking work as maids in Malaysia.

The problem, as I noted then, is that banning Indonesian women from working in Malaysia, or Saudi Arabia, doesn't, in itself, force host countries to reform. Rather, as in the case of Indonesia and Malaysia, the reduction in the number of Indonesian migrants opened the market to women from poorer countries like Cambodia.

Eventually, Malaysia agreed to prosecute some of its worst offenders, including a woman who assaulted her housemaid with scissors and a hammer. This type of legal and diplomatic pressure is an important first step.  To this end, International Labor Organization (ILO), recently past the first-ever convention on the rights of domestic workers. The document affirms domestic workers' rights to a minimum wage, a weekly day off and a limit to their working hours. It also obliges governments to protect them from violence. 

However, in order for the convention to be binding, countries must adopt it — and not all will.  And, as I've written before, fair laws do not guarantee fair treatment. Until 'house work' is valued and female workers are treated with dignity, foreign domestic workers will continue to suffer.....

Thu Jun 23, 2011 7:54PM

Indonesian President Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono
The Indonesian president has slammed Saudi Arabia for the beheading of an Indonesian maid in the kingdom and decided to stop sending maids to the country.

Saudi Arabia "broke the norms and manners of international relations" by carrying out the death sentence, Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono said on Thursday.

He added that he had lodged a protest with the Saudi government over Saturday's execution of the Indonesian citizen for murder.

"I decided to apply a moratorium on sending Indonesian workers to Saudi Arabia, to be in effect on August 1, but starting from today, steps toward this have begun," Yudhoyono was quoted as saying by AFP.

Earlier this week Indonesia recalled its ambassador to Saudi Arabia in protest over the execution of the 54-year-old maid Ruyati binti Sapubi, who had been convicted of killing her Saudi employer.

The Indonesian maid was executed by sword. Saudi officials then dangled her corpse from a helicopter to make sure the public could see the grotesque result of the execution.

Indonesian officials say the maid had been severely abused by her employers.

Twenty-three Indonesians currently face execution in Saudi Arabia, where people convicted of murder are beheaded in public. Riyadh has carried out 27 beheadings so far this year.

There are more than one million Indonesian migrant workers in Saudi Arabia, most of them working as maids.

Sat Jun 18, 7:24 am ET
 JEDDAH, Saudi Arabia (AFP) – 

.....An Indonesian woman was beheaded by the sword on Saturday after being convicted of murdering a Saudi woman, the interior ministry said.

The woman named Roiaiti Beth Sabotti Sarona, according to a transliteration from Arabic, was found guilty of killing Saudi Khairiya bint Hamid Mijlid by striking her repeatedly on the head with a meat chopper and stabbing her in the neck, the ministry said in a statement carried by the official SPA news agency.

The ministry did not elaborate on the motives of the crime, nor it did disclose the relation between the two women. But Indonesian officials say that around 70 percent of the 1.2 million Indonesians working in Saudi Arabia are domestic staff.

The beheading in the western province of Mecca brings the number of executions in the ultra-conservative kingdom this year to 28, according to an AFP tally based on official and human rights group reports.

London-based watchdog Amnesty International called on Saudi Arabia last week to stop applying the death penalty, saying there had been a significant rise in the number of executions carried out over the past six weeks.
It said at least 27 people have been executed in Saudi Arabia in 2011, "the same as the total number of people executed in the whole of 2010. Fifteen people were executed in May alone."

In 2009, the number of executions reached 67, compared to 102 in 2008. Rape, murder, apostasy, armed robbery and drug trafficking are all punishable by death under Saudi Arabia's strict interpretation of Islamic sharia law........

To both the deceased affected by this tragic and sad incidence,  


Thursday, June 23, 2011



My 13 year old daughter is pouring endless questions about the female reproductive system,  menstruation, feelings, relationships, boys, beauty tips, personal hygiene, cooking etc. Initially it was merely the shy quick type of questions so I took for granted that she is going through the normal process of growing up. However these questions started to become more specific and intensified, that was when I suddenly realize”Goodness, my little girl is turning into a woman”.

The journey from childhood to womanhood is one of the most precious a female will encounter in her lifetime. So what path should a girl take? When does a girl become a woman?

As the mother of a daughter it is my job to teach her the responsibilities of becoming a young woman, to show her how to be caring, compassionate, how to treat others, how to handle stress and oh dear the list will go on and on! Irony is, being a woman I still need to learn on “how to teach my daughter to be a woman”.

I don’t really know what messages I am sending to my daughter and how those messages will affect her in ten or twenty years. What is really developmentally appropriate? In what way can the mother-daughter relationship play along this development pathway?

What happens during the Transition
from childhood to adulthood in the female brain..

The Teen Girl’s Brain
Louann Brizendine, M.D. – Professor of Clinical Psychiatry
Research on the aspects of the female brain 

 "The nature of puberty is physically created by our life force expanding toward maturity --when assisted by zooming hormones -- result in the amazing body changes we all can see. These same forces open a girl to new concepts; new ways of thinking and perceiving. Puberty is a time when many beliefs are formed or hardened, therefore, this time in a girl's life is the perfect opportunity for infusing positive thoughts and images into her awakening mature body/mind system. We must support girls and young women to see themselves for who they truly are - having unlimited creative potential."  Quote from article, Empowered Girls Will Change the World!"  
~ Dr. Pam Chubbuck

 Only 13months old and already learning?

Exciting isn’t it? I am off to the bookshops to look for more books for me “the mummy” and for her ‘the new little lady’ of my life. To all the wonderful mothers out there, the very best of luck to you and to your daughters too.

Happy exploring. 

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Obedient Wives Club update, first-class prostitutes - Belle de Jour

Obedient Wives Club update: ‘You’re mistaken’
Submitted by pearl on Wednesday, June 8th, 2011
Wednesday, June 8th, 2011 11:27:00

“I believe we have been misunderstood and misinterpreted. When we said that husbands should treat their wives like first-class prostitutes, we were not putting wives on the same level with prostitutes. We are talking about first-class elite types, not street hooker types.

"Our wives provide men with top-level service. However, ordinary prostitutes can only provide good sex, but not love and affection which only a wife can provide.

“Hence, as wives, we must treat our husbands better. It’s not just in bed, but everything that a wife can offer. Optimise your role. If we provide our husbands more than a prostitute can give, then our husbands will not go out looking for it.”...

I wanted to learn more on what the OWC meant by “that husbands should treat their wives like first-class prostitutes” ?


Secret Diary of A Call Girl is an adaptation of the blog,
and later the book written by a real London prostitute.

Vice has its virtues for Billie Piper. The actress has joined the ranks of Britain's best paid TV stars after agreeing a £400,000 deal to reprise the role of Belle de Jour.

Her commitment to a fourth series of The Secret Diary Of A Call Girl for ITV2 will see her earn £50,000 an episode.
In total, it is considerably more than the £100,000 which Brooke Magnanti - the real-life Belle whose diary inspired the TV series - says she earned in her time as a £300-an-hour prostitute.

Miss Piper's bumper pay packet puts the 27-year-old former singer some way ahead of most soap stars, and has surprised some because Secret Diary does not even air on ITV's main channel.

However, the series has been a ratings hit and when it debuted in 2007 it recorded an impressive 1.8million viewers, one of the biggest audiences for ITV2 since the digital channel was launched.

The fourth series is said to follow the character as she continues to juggle her double life as an author and an escort.
Filming for the show will begin later this year and ITV2 is hoping to screen the series from January 27, 2011.

Read more: here 

Q&A with the real Belle de Jour, inspiration for Secret Diary of a Call Girl

by Jillian Cohan
What were your impressions of the series?
I loved the look and feel of the show — the slightly dirty, hazy quality London has, almost as if it’s another character. And I thought the leads were very well cast.
So you think it was faithful to your writings?
That’s something we discussed when the show was being developed. Obviously, there are a lot of differences. Belle in the series doesn’t have a boyfriend, and she sees clients at her home, which I never did. But I felt that while only some of the clients depicted were based on ones I wrote about, the spirit of the writing was very well preserved.
Do you think Americans are more or less repressed when it comes to sexual issues than the British?
Everyone’s messed up about sex, just in all different ways.

Do you think the show will be more or less scandalous in the United States?
A difficult question. On the one hand, because sex for money is illegal in most of the U.S., it could be seen as encouraging a criminal lifestyle (prostitution is legal in the UK but pimps are illegal). But on the other hand, when the show aired in the UK, it came out at the same time as a new adaptation of Fanny Hill (a famous 1748 book that purported to be the memoir of a “woman of pleasure). In spite of the fact that the attitudes and subject matter were virtually identical, Secret Diary was given a critical beating, but Fanny Hill was somehow “classier” and beyond reproach. Maybe because everyone in my show has a funny accent, it will be seen as sufficiently high class to benefit from the Fanny Hill effect?
What attracted you to the business?
The money, and keeping my own hours; when I started I was still looking for a daytime job so needed to be free for that, which temping would not have allowed me to do.
What are the biggest presumptions people make about call girls that you’d like to dispel?
That we’re all emotional messes, or have drug problems or a history of abuse. That’s true for a lot of girls in the sex industry, but not all. I’m very tired of people assuming I must have a drug habit — I’ve never so much as even considered taking drugs.
Why did you decide to blog, and eventually write a book, about your experiences?
Quite simply because I couldn’t tell my friends about them. Funny things happened in the business, but because few of my friends knew at that time, I couldn’t have a laugh with them down at the pub like other people would. The blog gave me an opportunity to share the experiences and, initially, was more about what happens on the way to and from an appointment than during the act itself.
What would you like people to take away from your book or the series?
Probably that everyone has an internal life — from call girls to clients to just the average person on the street — and that a little empathy can go a very long way — especially in a city like London.

Belle de Jour blogger unmasks herself as 'big mouth ex- boyfriend' looms, Sunday 15 November 2009
Paul Gallagher and Peter Walker

Research scientist Dr Brooke Magnanti announces she is author of mysterious call girl blog and says she has no regrets about working as prostitute!

Read more here and here


Renungan bersama:

Sufiah Yusof aka Shilpa Lee

Happy Reading

Sunday, June 12, 2011



What’s up ladies? WOW!
Matahari (here)

Sunday June 12, 2011
A happy man, a happy home

The newly-launched wives club catapulted to notoriety around the world recently when its vice-president Dr Rohaya Mohamed said the secret to a happy family and subsequently the solution to all of society's ills is a happy man at home, which can be achieved if women served their husbands like “first-class prostitutes”.

Police monitoring Obedient Wives Club
New Straits Times
Sun, Jun 12, 2011

ALOR STAR - The police are monitoring the Obedient Wives Club and will take action if it has flouted the law, said Home Minister Datuk Seri Hishammuddin Hussein. He said the club was linked to Global Ikhwan, an offshoot of the now-defunct Islamic religious movement Al-Arqam.

"At the moment, there is no evidence indicating that the club is a threat to national security.
"The police will, however, continue monitoring it, as well as other groups that could potentially jeopardise the country's security.


Tuesday June 7, 2011

Perak mufti supports Obedient Wives Club


IPOH: Perak mufti Tan Sri Harussani Zakaria has given his backing to the Obedient Wives Club, which offers “sex lessons” to help women keep their husbands.

Harussani, who recently banned the poco poco dance in Perak, said women needed to be reminded of their roles and responsibilities to their husbands.

The younger generation is too absorbed in cultures that are not their own. Wives must be very obedient to their husbands. - Tan Sri Harussani Zakaria .......................

Malaysian Orchids - zeezaa

Marriage is a commitment and a responsibility that should be fulfilled by both the husband and the wife. Sex is only one of the basic ingredients of a good marriage and there are so many other factors that need to be taken into consideration. Let us take a look at some very basic guidelines;

A Husbands Role/Responsibility towards his Wife

  • He should provide sustenance to his wife according his ability ( i.e. financial condition)
  • He should teach his wife the rulings of Deen and always urge her to accomplish good deeds.(Deen=submissive to the teachings of Allah)
  • Allow his wife to visit her Mahram relatives.
  • (Mahram=blood-related)
  • He should be patient at her unpleasant behaviours
  • (i.e. husbands must not be too harsh towards the wives)

A Husbands RIGHTS towards his Wife
  •  A husband should be respected by his wife in every way 
  • The husband has the right to a trustworthy and honest companionship with the wife 
  • The husband has a right to sexual intimacy with his wife. Unless if it considers a health issue among the couple. The wife is allowed to say “NO"
  • If the husband doesn’t like someone, then the wife shouldn’t allow them to come to their house, she also shouldn’t accept presents from such people. This is to avoid jealousy and friction between the couple. 
  • The husband's possessions are his wife’s trust. She needs to safeguard his property and possessions.


1. Shows good character and good manners towards his wife.
2. Doesn’t slack when it comes to the rights of his wife.
3. Does not check out any other woman other than his wife.
4. Learns and practises Islam and teaches his wife too.
5. Always there for his wife during times of distress.
6. Keeps his cool even when his wife hurts his feelings.
7. Appreciates his wife and forgives small mistakes.
8.  Helps out with household chores and doesn’t just leave them to the wife
9. Does his best to raise their children in an Islamic way.

A Wife’s Role/Responsibility towards her Husband
  •  Obeying the husband
  • Be grateful to the husband
  • Always seek permission from the husband
  •  Manage the husband’s wealth
  • Preserving herself (protect her honour)
  • Look after the husband’s welfare
  • Fulfill the husband’s needs
  • Look after the husband’s children

A Wife’s RIGHTS towards her Husband
  •  A wife has a right to choose her husband. If she doesn’t want to get married to someone her parents want her to marry then she has a right to refuse. So no woman can be forced to get married in Islam.       
  • If If she doesn’t like her husband due to valid reasons then she may also get a divorce and re-marry someone else.
  • She has a right to be a lady of leisure: 
  • she should not be forced to work to earn money (if she chooses to work, any money that she earns is her own and she has a right to spend it as she wishes)
  •  She also has the right of Mahr (wedding gift) and inheritance
  • She has a right to keep her surname.
  • She has a right to be treated with kindness.


1. Listens to her husband and does her best to please him.
2. Always considers her husband’s well being.
3. Does not give the husband stress but gives him peace of mind.
4. Does not spend more than her husband earns.
5. Helps her husband at the time of problems.
6. Has patience when the husband does not treat her justly.
7. Behaves and dresses modestly.
8. Learns and practises Islam and teaches her husband too.
9. Does her best to raise their children in an Islamic way.

Roles/Responsibilities of Spouses Together in a Marriage Relationship 

·       Be Partners in the Decision Making Process.
·       Work Together in the House
·       Communication is Important (talk to each other/give advises)
·       Have Meals Together
·       Live Simply
·       Admit Your Mistakes (avoid conflict)
·       Always be Forgiving (Forgive and Forget)

Best wishes and May Allah Bless Us All.