Teen Sex Education in Schools – Parent’s Involvement?

Sex remains a taboo subject especially in this part of the world (Asians) probably due to cultural and religious restrictions or the ways our parents brought us up. I have to admit I was not prepared, in fact never would have expected my daughter to approach me with very intimate questions about the birds and the bees.

 

Daughter: Mum, are you free? 

Me: Of ‘cos, what’s up?

Daughter: May I ask you a question?

Me: Sure, why not?

Daughter: We had sex education in class this morning; how should I answer this question mum? >>>hmmm, Madam Ann plans to have a baby, how many times must she “MATE” with her husband to conceive one<<<?

Poinggg! ....  Oh dear ..... such question coming from my little girl, and she nicely used the word "mate" instead!


I was taken by surprise - I heard the Ministry of Education was planning to implement sex education in schools (called social and reproductive-health education) but I never bothered to find out more - the syllabus or topics that they will discuss in class. 


My first (instant) reaction was a hearty laugh, (she chuckled too), then suddenly mumbled I had something important to attend to and quickly excused myself! How many of you out there were jolted by your teenage kids’ sudden "facts of life" questions?

The Guardian is running a year-long series looking at young people's sexual health and sex education in the UK and around the world (paid for by IPPF and FPA). Last 31^st of May 2012 The Guardian  opened a live forum on sex and sexuality education and called on all parents/guardians/interested parties to join in and participate. 

It is an interesting topic, an eye opener and some comments included links to many helpful websites and reading materials/references for parents on how best to approach this subject. 

Finally after gathering tips from various sources I was confident enough to know what and how best to explain to my daughter. Just the two of us - we sat down to have the talk. She appeared pretty comfortable with the subject, very well informed about our reproductive systems (covered in class) so her questions were way beyond that and much more intimate in nature.

     

None of my boys approached me with direct questions. However I noticed whenever they are alone with me they will raise questions, (very curious to know) about the relationships - between mum and dad such as;

1.  How did you meet dad and wanted to hear details from A to Z 
2. I have never seen the two of you fight, why? 
3. Other boyfriends before dad? 

Maybe what they actually wanted was to initiate some sort of discussion but just did not know how to get these messages across to me?

DRAMA-MOVIE ADDICTS – how to become one

“Phew Ma, do you know that Wilson refused treatment?” my eldest greeted me as I entered his room yesterday. 

Immediately I knew he was talking about "that" Wilson. (House M.D. "Holding On" Season 8 Episode 21).

Wilson who is the head of the Department of Oncology at Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital is being diagnosed with cancer with a projected five months to live. 

Having watched the transformation of hundreds of dying patients, Wilson tells House he's not going to do anymore chemo; he would much prefer to have five healthy months than a year or so laid up in a hospital room suffering terribly.  

House series is finally coming to an end this week.

Last week my 2^nd son came home for the weekend and as soon as he saw me “Ma, Rowling is going to launch a new book this September – The Casual Vacancy.., I asked him why the sulky expression on his face, “Ooo that means no more Harry Potter, I sure am going to miss him, I kinda grew up with him you know” came his serious reply!


Details of Rowlings new novel, The Casual Vacancy were released by her publisher. The new book, to be published worldwide on 27 September including ebook and audio formats, begins with the unexpected death of Barry Fairweather, whose demise in his early 40s leaves a space on the parish council. 

And just two days ago my daughter came to me with red swollen eyes.

What happened, now who else got shot and died, or was it that old lady with cancer? Anyway, why are you so unhappy, I asked giggling at her.  

“Desperate Housewives has ended, I don't care who died, it is the end of the series that saddened me; I am really going to miss Gabby and the gang” was her reply.

 

Over the years ever since my kids were little I am forced to blend in and keep up with many of their favourites, even sing and dance to the tunes of Teletubbies, Barney and Friends, Barbie, Doraemon, Power Puff Girls, Dragon Ball etc.

 

Who says being a mother is easy?

Mother’s Day – My Special Amah.

Happy Mother’s Day Ahso!

This special lady is my house-help, my dear Amah who scolds  and ticks me as though I am her”naughty little daughter”.  We dearly love this lady, a mum to me and a grandmother to my kids; she is a 77years old Chinese lady! (Photo: my son and Ahso).

Buy or spend anything excessive, she will yak yak nonstop to teach us to be thriftier. She will nag my kids for not keeping their rooms clean or if they don’t listen to me.

                     

When any one of us fell sick, she dots and fusses about like a bossy nurse, forcing us to eat all her home remedial specially prepared dishes. (she will wait until the whole bowl is empty!)

I have advised her many times to please please retire but no, she insisted saying that she loves working and will die if she stops.  Such a hardworking, dedicated, passionate and lovable lady she sings as she tends to her daily chores.

TEACHERS DAY - To Sir With Love

 

To All My Wonderful Teachers – Thank You

To all my kids’ lovely teachers – Thank you

“Al - Fatihah to Cikgu Zaiton”

A Street Cat Named Bob

A real story of how one man and his cat found hope on the streets and highlights that things can get better no matter how hard life becomes. 


A heartwarming tale with a message of hope story that will touch the heart of anyone who reads it…. 

As he describes in the book, Bob changed his life. “I believe it came down to this little man. He came and asked me for help, and he needed me more than I needed to abuse my own body.”  

 

It has been six years since he used heroin, though he still relies on “scrips” (prescription drugs) to deal with his mental health problems.


Happy Reading

Cheating spouses?

............An Italian man, in the precedent-setting case is suing his wife's lover for £500,000 in Italy's first-ever case of a cuckold seeking monetary compensation for “moral damages” caused by an extra-marital affair. 


The husband also said her affair had sent him into a spiral of depression...........  More here.

FRIENDS are FOREVER – Arabic belly dance for fitness

Twenty-eight little 7yr old girls met for the first time on our first day at school and many years on remain as one big family. Coming from different backgrounds, race and religion some later went to different schools and lived in different towns/ overseas during high school and higher studies. 

I can clearly remember the faces and the names of our Principal, Reverend Mother Aloysius and my class teacher, Sister John – such caring, gentle and loving teachers that will forever remain in our hearts. I believe our school and the teachers played a huge role in keeping our beautiful school years’ memories intact, precious and special.

Today we are spread out across the country; some have migrated to Australia, United Kingdom and the United States of America. To keep our memories alive and connections going, every month we organize a get-together, each taking turns to host the gatherings in our homes.  

Food? Delicious and Plentiful… Potluck… 

 

Roasted Turkey, grilled lamb, Mamak fried noodles, Briani rice, Roti Jala/chicken curry, fried buttered prawns, selection of Nyonya desserts, cakes, fruits - well just bring a little of anything where all can share and enjoy our day together. 

SR - had no time to cook so she brought roses and daisies from her garden and distributed to all. At one of the gatherings ZA brought along with her an Arabic Belly Dance instructress to entertain us and teach us belly dancing..........



Uh.. ah..... Ladies, this is one good form of exercise to do in the comfort of your own homes, fun and very relaxing!.

HOMEMAKER – Resume

Basic guidelines of what is expected once you decide to leave your career and become a full-time housewife;

 

1                  Cook – Breakfast-lunch-tea-dinner-snacks-visitors-  parties

2                  Butler – 24hour duty

3                  Gardener

4                  Cleaner – house - cars – laundry/ironing

5                  Driver – kids to schools/tuition/marketing/shopping

6                  Nanny – 24hours  kids (ages ranging 1day old to 24years or more)

7                  Private home tutor – 7day week

8                  Private Nurse – home health care

9                  Plumber

10             Electrician

11             Carpenter

12             Hostess – visitors, parties

13             Clown – 24hour duty

14             Social escort - husband/kids

15      Bookkeeper - Accountant

16      Secretary

And finally, financially in cases where your husband is not able to provide sufficiently for the family, you are expected to again seek either part-time or full-time employment.

Did I leave anything out?

Desperate Housewives

The ABC Television Network announced today that this season will be the final one for the landmark series "Desperate Housewives." 

All good things eventually come to an end, and in the eighth and final season, the stakes for everyone on Wisteria Lane are at an all-time high. 

Season Eight of "Desperate Housewives" will roll out in a way that is accessible even to viewers who may have lapsed in their viewing, and be all the richer and more rewarding to the series' loyal fans. More here.

MENOPAUSE - What your mum n doctor may not tell you?

OBLA DI OBLA DA – Life goes on rah!.. la~la~la~la life goes on. Oh dear, the  lyrics ~~~Molly stays at home and does her pretty face ~~~

How I wish life will go on and on like Molly and her pretty face!

My late mum never discussed the horrible ‘M’ with me. In fact she never complained or had anything to say about this sneaky ‘M’. Well, don’t blame my mum; even Dr John R. Lee M.D. came out with his book titled “What Your Doctor May Not Tell You about Menopause”. 



Now, now...... why all these silence? hmmmm

This is a phase in our life where not many women are prepared to talk openly? Huh! Menopause typically (but not always) occurs in women in midlife, during their late 40s or early 50s, and signals the end of the fertile phase of a woman's life.

Anyway this is one refreshing and educational book for those about to enter or are now going through menopause – one can learn what to expect and it is always better to be prepared.


I feel husbands/men should also know more about this topic so they can understand their women/mums and help their ladies go through this phase smoothly. I was told even men go through menopause?

Raising Boys Without Fathers – Single Mothers

Raising boys without fathers? This question came into my mind from the very day my husband died. Little girls are cute adorable darlings and so simple to care for but boys, with their ever changing unpredictable aggressive behaviors one can hardly guess what next they will surprise you with!

My little boys (10years old and 5years old) were very close with their father, enjoyed doing all the boys stuff together, he was their best friend and their playmate. The special love and bond shared between father and sons, even I as their mother can never understand. What happens when this very special person suddenly disappear forever from their lives?

Experiencing Death of a Parent as a Child

.......Experiencing the death of a parent is traumatic at any age, but it's particularly harrowing for young children. With the death of a parent, young children are deprived not only of the guidance and love that that parent would have provided as the children grew up but also the sense of security that the parent's ongoing presence in the home would have bestowed. More often than not, the child feels terribly vulnerable, especially when the death is accompanied by a relocation of the family..... Greg Harvey . 

Read more here, here, and  here.

After his father’s death Khairul became depressed and withdrawn, firmly refused to attend Kindergarten. In Year One his behaviour became worse, horribly impossible, coaxing, pleading and screaming at him just to get him to go to school. He hated school, hated all the teachers and refused to make friends. After six months I decided to transfer him into a private school, a 30km drive from home, 4daily trips for me. 


We later discovered that just a few days before he died my husband was planning with the boys about our family trip to Europe - which did not materialise due to his sudden death. Was Khairul angry with his father because of the unfulfilled promise? When he was 8years old, after consultation with family members we decided to send him to stay with his auntie in United Kingdom for 2months. 


There he attended school in Reading as a guest student. Being the only Malay boy in that school he was very well received by his classmates and teachers – he was so fond of Miss Cheek, his class teacher. He enjoyed the new experience  and the time spent with his uncle. His short stay there worked miracles; he came home a completely changed boy. 


When my sons were young (between 7years old to 15years old) I sent them to as many holiday camps and educational workshops so they can interact and enjoy activities with new friends and their male instructors. It was good for them; the boys really enjoyed these experiences.


Whenever the boys were invited to join their best friend’s families for family trips - picnics, fishing or for weekend activities, I freely gave them permission. (Zainun, Ida, Johar, Fuziah, Harun, Izan, and Cecilia would call me up to “borrow” my sons – my blessings to all my very dear friends for making my sons life so blissful). What I wanted was for the boys to be given the opportunity to feel the atmosphere of being around, doing things and sharing daily activities with “fathers”. 


They are lucky as we live in a closely knitted community where the Village Elders (JKKK Kampung) organized monthly programs and activities. They included my sons in many of these voluntary activities. The young boys became active members of the Rakan Muda Masjid, where they learnt how to communicate and mingle freely with people of all ages, especially men.


The strongest support came from close family members. My late mum in law was always there for the boys – a fantastic grandmother who kept the memories of their father fresh and alive for them. In good health or sickness, sharing the joys and sorrows with them are their exceptionally special uncles and aunties who loved and cared for them as their own children.

In "RaisingBoys Without Men," research psychologist Dr. Peggy Drexler says that boys raised in households headed by just mothers can grow up emotionally stronger, more empathetic and independent than boys raised in traditional two-parent households.... Happy reading....

World's First Sex School Opens? Malaysia’s Obedient Wives Club

Image here

In Malaysia, last June 2011 the Obedient Wives Club (OWC) created hot sizzling waves, today, we hear of the World’s First Sex School in Vienna!

The world's first international sex school has opened which claims to teach its students how to be better lovers.

But far from being a cheap thrill, one term at the "hands on" International Sex School in Vienna will cost pupils £1,400. 

More here.

Kids have feelings too – I Told My Kids I Ate All Their Halloween Candies

Uploaded by Jimmy Kimmel Live

http://youtu.be/_YQpbzQ6gzs

Today is 11-11-11, 11^th November 2011.

There are little precious things that truly matters to kids. So watch out mums - kids and their innocent feelings! 

My daughter was inseparable with her baby doll. Her naughty brother had different ideas. He decided to use a permanent black marker pen and drew a lovely thick moustache and beard on its face. 

She was so upset, terribly miserable and cried non-stop. I will never forget that hectic day!

No other dolls .. she insisted on having the same one. I had to rush to Toys"R"Us to get a replacement; the nearest store (Subang Jaya) did not have any. I had to drive all the way to their KL outlet and, fortunately found one.

Guess what happened? Few weeks later the brother decided to draw again - this time face of a clown - red nose, red cheeks, and thick raised eyebrows etc! 

Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries - 10million wedding of the year ended after 72days?

FilmMagic; 

Albert Michael/Startraks

 

Queen of bling! Kim Kardashian's beau Kris Humphries pops the question with a '$2million ring'

 

 Credit: Albert Michael/startraksphoto.com

“She took my breath away,” Kris said of his bride.

“She was so shockingly beautiful.”

 Kim Kardashian Divorce:

10 Signs the Marriage Was One Big Hoax All Along. here