Friday, September 23, 2011

What are the qualities in men that attract women? Independent Living & Training Centre (ILTC)

The most expensive engagement ring is the one Paris Kasidokostas Latsis gave to Paris Hilton when he proposed to her in 2005. It had a huge emerald cut cubic zirconia center stone and flanked by two trillion in white gold.
Paris Hilton later auctioned off this $4.7 million engagement ring for the victims of Hurricane Katrina. HERE.

Early this year, a couple so in love with each other came to see me for their special surprise announcement. After knowing each other for only 2months, they decided to get married! Nothing will ever change their mind, they are so “IN LOVE” and everything sounded so perfect.

There are many lucky ones where love at first sight leads to a long lasting happy marriage.

However, 5months into marriage, I started getting late night calls from this frantic new bride. She was shocked, on and on pouring her endless tales of sorrow - the man of her dream is now giving her nightmares!

Oh why must it be me to have to listen to all her ramblings? I am no marriage counselor, however her woes were so sad, pleading and touched me deeply. A wrong word of advice from me can be explosive and disastrous!

Women have their own fantasies in life, to find the ideal man, get married, raise his wonderful kids and lead a perfect life together. No two women are alike and even individual preferences in men differ however all women crave more or less the same qualities in men. What are the qualities in men that attract women?


The man’s job is to be the provider and women hold men to that very idea, and as Muslims the Quran clearly laid down the roles and responsibilities expected of a husband and a wife in a marriage. (Many good books around, just in case we need to brush up on this topic). Responsibilities cover a wide area of expectations;
  • That you are financially responsible or at least having a steady job that will generate regular income for the family. 
  • Having good judgement, it represents maturity in men, and maturity is all about responsibility and a man with good judgment will help to provide a stable family life.
  • Coming up with sound and firm decisions - when it comes to making important decisions, women expect men to be in charge and to make the right moves. Talk and discuss things out rationally so both are in agreement.

Women like to be able to count on their man at all times, especially during troubled times. 

.......An exceptional lady I truly adore and admire once related her story “I stepped on a brick and suddenly fell down while drying the clothes and was unable to move. The very moment my husband heard from the doctors that I will be paralyzed for life, waist down, without giving any warning, he packed his bag and left us, my little 2year old baby girl and I were left stranded".


Sheer determination and for the love of life, she now helps manage a self-help center  Independent  Living”, (ILTC MALAYSIA). This center was formed by the disable and for the disable (men and women).

Women value trust and understanding - one of the most important characteristics in a relationship. A faithful man makes his woman feel appreciated, special and loved.

Be honest, it insults and hurtful if you’re cheating on her. Why must you cheat on someone who had so much trust and confidence in you? 

Having a sense of humour is one of the most wonderful gifts in life. They say laughter is the best medicine. Indeed it is, cheap and effortless. It is not difficult, right? Look at what Mr Bean is giving to the people all around the world. Fun and laughter and millions simply adore him!

Women need not only financial security (not a priority today as many women have their own career) but most importantly the physical security from men to protect her at all time. God created us such that males will forever be of the stronger gender. 

Women seek to connect with men who are generally wiser and smarter than they are to enjoy mental and emotional stimulation - helps a long way to keep the relationship interesting and exciting.

These will be felt even by your kids, who will boast and impress their friends that their father is the best, yes this confidence will be felt by all in the family.

Affection can take many forms such as kind gentle words expressed with warm heartfelt sincerity; touch and physical affection are critical to women because they view it as a strong expression of love, concern and caring.

Kindness, sweet words and physical touch are also healing to the spirit and help to deepen the connection between the two.  Express your affection through simple gestures, small gifts or taking her for a deserving holiday as means to show your appreciation for all her sacrifices taking good care of your home.

Affection is another gift from God, it comes naturally.

Mind your manners in front of a woman. Girls are usually affectionately protected by their parents since they were born and it can be a shocking experience to see their man acting so rude or with no proper manners.

And keep up with your sense of hygiene. Women strive to ensure they look beautiful for you at all times and they will expect the same from you. 

This can be a very significant contribution to a happy relationship or a marriage. Imposing and interfering in-laws may be a determining factor to a healthy relationship or may destroy it altogether, keep this in check at all times.

There are many more qualities that a woman looks for in a man. No one person can have all the qualities as above, men or women alike. To build a happy home is never easy but once we make a decision to take someone as our soul-mate we have to learn to do our best to ensure a long and happy lifetime together.

So gentlemen out there, treat your woman with
care and gentleness, we all depend on your strength
to guide us for a better future.
May God bless us all..

PS: The picture of Paris Hilton and her $4.7m engagement ring is for illustration purposes only. I got one like this, plain and simple and am happy!

What about Terry Wayne Fator and a wedding ring? Read here.


  1. i know that i look and behave like mr bean. some women just want that: an idiot for a husband so he could be easily controlled.
    ok what!

  2. Hi uncle Rem,
    Don't get women wrong. If they control you MEANS they are so horribly and passionately in love with you - you should be honoured!

    I have watched MrBean for (pic) countless times, tak pernah jemu.. and who else can you do this except with your dear wife, right?... and (ssshhh.. whisper) at times I do this to strangers who keep on staring at me when my car stops at traffic lights and just about to turn green.. ha! Love to see their startled looks!


  3. One of the most attractive qualities that a man can have is confidence, and you will find that if you have it, you will have plenty of company. It does not matter what you really do, or how you really feel, confidence can be faked. A person who is happy and confident is very attractive, so walk around as if you own the place and many people will just assume that you do.

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